I've been to plenty of memorial services in my life...plenty over the 12 months alone. When I was younger, I was under the impression that memorial services were times where we came together to remember the person who had died and grieve. As I've grown older, I've come to view memorial services as a time where people gather together to remember the person who has died and grieve. What? You don't see the difference in those statements? Okay, I'll explain.
When I was younger, memorial services were always sad. It was just sad. People cried, they were somber, we dressed in dark colors, we talked about how great the person was and we were sad together. Memorial services today are much the same (well, I don't always dress in dark colors) but for me there is a marked difference. While we may be talking about and grieving some who has died, I've come to see memorial services not so much about the person who has died but the people who are left behind.
My Mom has clearly stated that at her memorial service there is not to be an open microphone. No "come up and share your fondest memory with everyone" awkward moments. Which is fine. I'll just make sure there are people assigned to that, if I'm in charge. I believe there needs to be time for people to celebrate and remember the person corporately. We need a space in life to grieve together whether in tears or laughter through the tears. We need a time to remember the one we have loved together. We need a memorial service, not so much for the person who has died but for those of us who are left behind.
Now, I've been to a lot of memorial services, mostly in a church building and I've got to say something else. I believe in Jesus with my whole heart and I'm perfectly comfortable with people talking about a person's faith in Jesus, how their faith impacted their life. Especially when it's genuine. Stand up, talk about the person's faith in God and how faith was lived out. Let their life be an example of faith, beyond awesome. I am not comfortable with having a "come to Jesus" moment in the memorial service. It bugs me. Maybe I'm not that great of a Christ Follower. I get really tired of going to memorial services and hearing about how I need to "come to Jesus" because the person that had died had such a great faith in God. I feel like it's just another example of a preacher trying to "save" people who might not normally get into a church building and it wears me out. Really wears me out. I always feel like the preacher has looked around the room and decided everyone is on the verge of going to hell and so they must get this one.last.word.in. before we all plunge into the depths of despair. It feels forced, a little desperate and always makes me sigh...sometimes out loud.
My Dad went to a memorial service recently where that exact thing happened. Much of the service was spent having a "come to Jesus" moment. He said while there were some things said about the person who had died, it just seemed like the preacher and another speaker looked around, saw an audience they wouldn't normally see and decided to try to convert souls. His comment..."I wish more was said about the life of the person. I'm not even sure the pastor knew him very well." Sigh.
Here's the thing for me. I believe in Jesus. I serve God wherever God calls me to serve. I want my life to speak about my faith and trust in Jesus and God. I would love for people to stand up at a memorial service for me (years and years and years down the road) and share about my faith in God and Jesus. I'm okay with an open mic. I'm not okay with a "come to Jesus" moment and if that means that the service can't be held in the church, fine by me. I'm also okay with people crying because IT'S NATURAL TO GRIEVE THROUGH CRYING!!! Sorry, got a little heated there.
I'm sure there are plenty of people to disagree with me. It's okay if we disagree...but please don't question my faith because I disagree with you...oh wait, that's another blog post.
No comments:
Post a Comment