Christmas and church staff

Tonight, as I'm waiting to go to the Christmas Eve Service at a little church in the town I'm in, I am reminded of a conversation New Church Boss and I had a while back, probably last year.  He was relating how his then Head Pastor wasn't going to be at church on Christmas.  He was taking Christmas off.  New Church Boss was a little mystified at how his boss could be gone on one of the biggest nights/days for the church. 

As I was reflecting on that this morning, I thought about the first Christmas I took off as a church staff.  My family was going to be together in one place, many of the extended family included, and I wasn't about to stay home and miss it.  I was going too!  I remember the look on the Pastor's face when I said I wouldn't be at the church on Christmas Eve.  Absolute shock.  (I could have pulled out my terms of employment right there and showed him that Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were two days that I had off according to that piece of paper.  If y'all don't mean it, don't put it in writing.) They survived that Christmas without me and when I said a few years later that I would be gone again this time for a Mission trip, there was barely a murmur of protest.

I do believe that it's important for a church to put it's best foot forward on Christmas.  Pastors, staff and church members should be aware that they are hosting a group of people that may only go to church once or twice a year.  It's important to be on point that night.  However, I think every so often it's okay for the Pastor and staff members to get a Christmas off, especially if their families don't live in the area.  Once in a while a Pastor should be allowed a pass on Christmas, to be allowed time to be with their families and walk into a different church on Christmas Eve and worship God without the stress of leading it all.

Those are just my two cents.  Merry Christmas everyone!  I'm off to Christmas Eve service.

I think I'm on a theme here...

I was reading a blog post by someone else who made mention of the use of projection systems in churches.  The comment was in the negative.  Clearly the use of a projection system vs. hymnals and bulletins was not something this particular blogger appreciated.  That got me to wondering, though, what happened when hymnals and bulletins were introduced into churches?


See, I'm pretty sure that at one point in time everyone who joined together to worship were expected to memorize all the songs, the order of how the worship time flowed, not to mention memorizing chapter and verse of the Bible.  I wonder when hymnals, Bibles and bulletins made the scene, was there an uproar in the church?  Did some people reject the new things in favor of the traditional things?  Did church leaders fear that the old ways would be lost and so therefore put up a stink about using hymnals, Bibles and bulletins?  I wonder if someone along the way said something like "if we want to attract the generations to come, we need to make these changes".

I wonder...

Living in the past

I had coffee today with a friend who used to work at New Church.  She basically had my job at one point in time, though with a lot more responsibilities.  Anyway as we were talking about things that are happening at New Church, I started to think about the way that churches can tend to live in the past. 

One of the things that always bothered me at Old Church was the use of the word "tradition" as in "We always do things this way because that's the way we've always done and we can't change it because it's tradition."  It didn't matter if it was simply rearranging the way the Nativity scene was put up (or where the Nativity scene was placed*), if it went against "tradition" it was frowned upon.**  I soon began to say things like, "in the past we have done this but that doesn't mean we have to do that now."  I am rebel, here me roar!

That's one thing about churches, though, we like our "traditions" and we are reluctant to give them up, even if it's for good reasons.  In many ways our churches are living in the past.  Now, please hear me loud and clear, sometimes it's really okay to live in the past, there are traditions that are good and fine.  However, when we live in the past so much that we can't see the future, that's when we get into trouble.  If we are so focused on how we have always done things, we tend to not be very innovative or open to new ideas of doing ministry and ministry tends to stagnate.

I'm not one to just try something because it's the newest and latest craze.  I like some traditions but I believe that there are times when we need to break out of the mold.  We need may need let the Pastor that retired 25 years ago finally retire in our own minds.  Maybe we need to recognize that though the pews have held up for 75 years, putting in chairs may actually enhance the worship space and give us opportunities to try something new...or at least maybe we could invest in new cushions that match the carpet we had to install 10 years ago because the old one finally wore out?  Maybe we need to acknowledge that the just the name Sunday School is actually a turnoff to kids and adults alike or that Sunday has become so busy for parents and children that we need to figure out a new model altogether.  While we are on that subject, can we please, please, please just let go of the outrage of over Sunday not being a Sabbath day anymore?  Times are changing, our attitudes aren't helping.

I guess that's the point of this whole post.  Times are changing.  Traditions are good but if they are getting in the way of ministry, I believe it's time to reexamine our goals, our ideas, take a look at history and then put things in the past if they need to be put away and move forward into the future.  It's time to stop living in the past.

*Yes, this was an issue.  I personally liked the scene under the Communion table the most, it was front and center and it actually looked like it was a stable but under the Christmas tree was the place!  Especially once the Communion table was enclosed with a floor length table cloth.  Don't get me started on that!

**I also take umbrage with the use of the word tradition for something that has only happened one time.  One time a tradition does not make.  Talk to me about the 5th time.  Then it can be a tradition.

When the church is robbed

A couple of weeks ago we pulled into the parking lot at New Church, also new one-day-a-week work church, and were greeted by an old friend.  He immediately asked "Brittany, have you heard the news?"  The news was that New Church had been broken into the night before.  Just one of the four buildings but it was the one building that had the most to lose, in ways.  Three computers were taken, a printer (it was realllllllllyyyyy an awful printer), the back up to one of the computers, a box of cell phones that had been donated for a fundraiser and, as we found out today, some software that we used regularly.  On those computers were all the databases for the church members and the youth ministry, all the minutes for church meetings, mock-ups for bulletins, newsletters, any mailings that have been sent out, pretty much everything.  They also took the church Suburban...which again, was old and kinda gross, but still it ran and it was nice to have around.

The robbers took stuff.  They didn't take the spirit of the church.  But they did violate a space.  I remember back when Old Church was broken into.  They broke into my office and stole a computer (again, a realllllllyyyy awful one) and a brand new camera plus a few other things.  It took me a long time to feel comfortable in the church building again.  My office door was equipped with a bolt lock, the stain from the fingerprint dust never really did come off the door and the marks where the door was pried open were never painted over.  There were always reminders that the church wasn't the safe place I really wanted it to be.

Not having spent much time at New Church, yet, I'm not personally feeling that violation, but the rest of the church staff definitely is feeling violated.  The door locks to the offices have yet to be fixed, we are all working on borrowed computers and every so often we find that something else is missing...like the software today.  The church that once felt safe, doesn't feel so safe anymore.

The robbers took things that we probably won't ever get back.  They also took a little bit of our trust in mankind.  But what they didn't take away is God.  What they didn't take was the people who gave Thanks that same Sunday for the robbery, for the realization that it's just stuff and the gratefulness of a people who have a church building to call home.  The robbers didn't take that away. 

20's-30's-40's

Some of the greatest conversations I have about faith happen in the most unlikely places.  Today I was with one of my favorite people to talk with about faith--I'll call her Faith Friend.  She had me captive for a few hours, so we had a good conversation!

In the midst of the conversation I had a bit of a light bulb moment.  I recently attended a meeting at new church that was kind of a visioning meeting, looking ahead at where they want to be.  It came up that this particular group of people is concerned with reaching out to the 20-30-40 year old set.  Faith Friend and I are both in that group.  We've both grown up in the church and while I'm continuing in a traditional church setting, she is exploring new options.  Part of what she is looking for is a place where discussions happen.  That got me to thinking...

I am becoming more and more convinced that the church universal has created their own image problem by making faith too religious, IE putting a lot of rules and regulations on faith that aren't either biblical nor are they friendly.  That religious factor has turned many off of church, which has resulted in the vacancy of the 20-30-40 and maybe more set.

In my time with the Young Adults in one of those age groups, I noticed that they were more apt to come to a time of discussion than traditional worship.  They became engaged in the discussions and gained just as much from those times as from traditional worship.

What would happen if, instead of all the hoopla of traditional worship, we gathered together in groups, maybe small groups within a larger group?  Intentional groups though, not just randomly putting people together.  What would happen if those groups were together and listened to a speaker for a few minutes, maybe 10 altogether, and then talked about it?  I'm not talking about easy topics of discussion either.  Let's talk about the taboo things, let's get gritty and real.  What would happen if instead of being expected to sit and receive, we were expected to participate in our worship experience through discussion and practice?  I wonder if church wouldn't be more appealing if we tore down some of the walls that we have put into place and were willing to think outside the box.

Some thoughts that I will continue to ponder.

Thinking out loud

When I first started in Youth Ministry, another Youth Pastor called me up one day and invited me to coffee with a couple of other people.  That gathering started a larger gathering and for a few years up to 15 youth pastors/parachurch workers in the area got together once a month to just talk ministry and life.  The people at these gatherings changed constantly, as people came into and left ministry in the area.  Out of that initial gathering, a group of us started a monthly event for our youth.  There were three of us that started that monthly event.  Two of those guys left ministry within the year.  Three other guys came on board.  Little did we know what God was doing.

Over the course of a few years, our friendships grew from just hanging out at youth events, to hanging out whenever we could get together...not just to plan youth events together.  It was probably my favorite time in ministry, hands down.  Then two of the guys left ministry.  One moved away, one needed to be out of ministry for awhile for a multitude of reasons.  People came in, things changed and in the end, there is only one of us ministering to youth in the area still...though I work for him now, so technically I'm still in a type of ministry!  Ha!

Today, three of the four of us got together for lunch.  It was good, relaxing and fun.  Driving home, it occurred to me, that during that time in ministry, when the four of us gathered regularly to talk and pray together, I was at my most positive and productive.  I was energized and excited to do ministry and probably the most effective as well.  Which got me to thinking.  What would happen if churches required their leaders to be in a fellowship of other church leaders regularly?  Would it help to ease burnout if church leaders had groups of people from outside their church but in ministry to talk with and laugh with and be real with?  Would it change things if we made church leaders connecting with church leaders a big deal?  Or would that just become a chore?  Another meeting to go to?  Something else to run?

I have no answers.  I'm just thinking out loud.

Do you know what a church employee does?

When in Youth Ministry, I had youth ask me what I did all day long.  To them, I was there for 2 hours on a Tuesday or Wednesday night and that was the extent of my working.  They didn't see the hours that went into planning the calendar, to keeping the website updated, the meeting upon meeting upon meeting that I was privileged to attend.  They didn't know that sometimes people would just randomly come in, sit down and talk for an hour or so.  They didn't know that I spent hours figuring out how the youth group meeting would go or studying for the talk I would give that night.  They had no idea about such things.  To them all I did was show up on Tuesday or Wednesday, hang out with them and then go home.  Easy job.

HA! Is what I say.  A couple of years ago, I was asked by the Personnel Ministry Team to list everything that I did.  It took up a full 8 1/2x11 sheet of paper and that was probably not comprehensive.  It was enlightening, for me at least.  I know it took a couple of people by surprise.  Which leads me to my question.  Do you know what a church employee does?

The average church-goer, never really gets to see what happens in the church building Monday through Saturday.  The typical church-goer just comes on Sunday morning, spends an hour or so in worship and 20 minutes chatting, maybe 45 minutes in Sunday School and then goes home.  There are the occasional church luncheons or meetings or potluck dinners but rarely do they pop into the church during the week and spend any large amount of time.

If they did come in and sit, maybe in the Administrative Assistants office, they would find that that person doesn't just put the bulletin together for Sunday morning and answer the occasional phone call.  They would find that the Administrative Assistant is responsible for keeping the copy machine, fax machine, postage machine and any other machine in the office operative.  They would find that the Admin schedules everything that happens in the church, hands out keys and instructions on using the facility.  They would follow the Admin around as they put out little fires all day long, IE "Help, there is no microphone set up!  Where is the video projector?  Where is the coffee pot?".  They would see that multiple people come to the door every day, some church folks looking for a little help, some people from the community inquiring about using the facility, some people from the community looking for a little help, some people just trying to sell the church something.  I'm wearing myself out...

They would hear the phone ring again and again and again.  They would listen to conversations about who was using the social hall last and why things weren't put away.  They would listen to complaints about mistakes in the bulletin or newsletter or complaints about the job the janitor is or isn't doing.  They would see the Administrative Assistant wade through email after email, answer questions about events in the church, building usage or things such as "what was the scripture reading from last Sunday's service?"  They would also see the people who stop by for a little bit of counseling...not from the Pastor but from the Admin!  Just stopping by to talk is common in a church office.  And really, what does that person have to do anyway?  They just generate the bulletin for Sunday mornings. 

Do you know what a church employee does?

Freedom

For the first time in 12 years I don't have to go to church every week.  It is a new kind of freedom that I haven't had since those two years I was away at college and chose not to go to church.  At that point and this point there were similarities.  Both times this freedom came after being involved with church on a deep, deep level. 

The first time I took a church break it was after some intense years a church elder, volunteer, committee member, worship team member, etc.  I was 22.  I was tired.  I took a break from church (NOT GOD) and enjoyed every minute of it.  When it was time to get back into regular church life, about two years later, I knew it.

This time has been different but no less freeing.  It took about two weeks before I decided to go to church again.  Another few weeks went by before going again.  Last week I didn't go to church and then this week I started noticing something.  I started noticing an antsy feeling, like something was missing.  Ah, yes.  Church!  Worship!  I missed it!  So today we went.

Worship was good, the sermon was good, the people delightful, warm and personable.  I came away refreshed.  I also came away appreciative of the freedom I have to go to church when I want but also be able to stay home from church at times too.  I appreciate the freedom.

Which got me to thinking.  I am a Church Chick.  I dig church.  I loved working for the church.  Not every second but in general I loved it.  As time went on, though, I began to resent having to get up on Sunday morning earlier than I got up the rest of the week, to go to church.  I wanted to be able to stay home every so often, not just while I went on vacation.  I wanted to be able to go to church someplace else occasionally and not be responsible for so many aspects of the worship service, just purely worship!  There were definitely mornings when worship would have been much better if I had just stayed home...hmmm...there's a thought. 

What would happen to our churches if every 7 weeks or so (random number just go with me) told the Pastor, the Worship Leaders, the musicians, the Children's Director, the Youth Director, etc., to NOT come to church?  Not expect them to take vacation time or a personal day, just wrote it into their contracts that one Sunday every 7 weeks they were to not come to their church of employment.  They could stay home, they could go to church someplace else, go away for the weekend, but one Sunday every so often they would be given the freedom to worship how they needed to worship.

Maybe some churches do this already.  Maybe that's why many churches have Sr. Pastors and Associate Pastors.  I don't know.  It just struck me at how amazingly empowering and freeing that would have been to be given one Sunday away from the church of my employment.  Maybe the bottom line is that it would have been pretty powerful for my church to say "Your relationship with Christ, your spiritual, emotional and mental health, is more important than leading in worship here every Sunday.  Take a week on us.".  I don't know for sure.  I'm just chatting.

Those praise songs

A few weeks ago I visited a church.  They combine their worship services for the summer and every other week the worship team or choir leads in worship.  The week I went it was the worship team. They were good, I knew the songs and sang along.

During the sermon the Pastor made a comment about singing "praise choruses" (which is ancient wording but I digress) and hymns at the beginning of the service.  A lady in the row in front of me quickly leaned over and said to her husband "we didn't sing any hymns!".  I automatically labeled her as part of the crowd that can't stand "Those praise songs".  I had to apologize (in my head) later when I realized she was probably of the opposite crowd.  The Pastor was unaware of all this happening and continued to use his illustration of praise songs and hymns in the sermon.  He was making the point that we all have a frame of reference when it comes to certain things in life.  We operate out of what we know. 

The Pastor talked about going to a meeting with church leaders and having a discussion about the type of music that is used during the service.  He asked the leaders "Where do you get your music from?"  The answer was awesome.  The church leaders said "We have a bunch of people here who have never heard hymns.  They didn't grow up in church, they don't have that background.  So they wrote songs using the style of music that they know."  They operate out of what they know.

Now, I've been in on the debates about Hymns versus Praise songs.  I, personally, have no problem with praise songs.  I grew up singing hymns, I can sing hymns in harmony without batting an eyelash, but I really prefer praise songs. They sound like the songs that I listened to as a teenager.  They meet me where I am.  Some of the lyrics to praise songs are inane...some of them just sound wrong when I'm in a funky frame of mind (see the chorus to "I'm trading my sorrows") but let's take a good look at some of the hymns and their lyrics and I'm willing to bet that there are inane and kind wrong sounding hymns out there as well. 


Praise songs vs. Hymns has been one of the biggest issues in the Church in the last decade or two and as I mull over the conversation between the church leaders as outlined above, I'm wondering if the issue isn't really about the style of music or the lyrics or the beat or the drums, guitar, bass and keyboards.  I'm wondering if the issue really is about new people coming in the door and suddenly changing things to so that the church operates as they are used to, as opposed to operating the way that the long-term tenants know and are familiar with.  I think that's probably closer to the truth.  Instead of coming into the church and becoming like everyone else in there, this new crowd came in and changed things up, operating out of what they know. 

Change is hard.  The reality is, though, that the Church must embrace some changes in order to be making a difference in this world.  Allowing gifted people to write songs out of their knowledge and understanding of God in the style that they are familiar with is a one way of opening the doors to the church and saying "Come on in, you are welcome".  It's simple and yet so complex.

When you walk in the door--comment

For whatever reason the comment function on this blog is being a little, well, challenging...so those in the know just email their comments and I post!

Here's a comment from Meg:

 

I have to say for myself, a fellow introvert, there are times when I specifically chose to attend the BIG church because I know I will blend in, and not be noticed. Not that I need to be invisible; it’s more of a “I’m having a Jesus moment here; please respect the bubble” kind of thing. It’s more of an inward worshiping time. I think many of us (dare I say…. You and I?) have been more involved with the other, the outward worshiping, how to present it, how to smile enough, but not to much, and the socially engaging part. Both have their benefits, and both are needed I think. When I need the space I go to the big church. When I need loves and hugs I go to the small church.

 

That being said, I agree about a warm welcome. All.The.Way. With the understanding of course, that there are ‘welcoming’ people who are so OVER zealous in their greeting/creeping that people will never walk back in for that reason too.

 

Tricky course it is. Amen and Yay! To the wide variations of churches, denominations, services, worship styles, music styles, and personalities. I believe God is alive and well in all of them. That’s good news. :)

When you walk in the door...

I'm doing a little church hopping lately.  For many different reasons, going to church where I used to work just, well, doesn't work for me anymore.  I am now in the position of "testing out" a bunch of different congregations, hoping to find a place to settle for awhile...or not.  Part of me is really enjoying not getting up on Sunday's and rushing to church.

Anyway, I am, by nature, an introvert and so seriously shy sometimes that going to someplace new totally freaks me out.  Especially if I have to go somewhere alone.  I've had back up (thanks Mom!).  I've also chosen to go to church at places that I know people.  I thought going to places where I know people would make it easier.  So far, I've had interesting results.

At one church we hadn't even walked in the door and we were greeted with exclamations of welcome.  We knew the greeters, we knew some of the people being greeted.  Walking inside the sanctuary I was spotted by three different people, two of whom enveloped me in huge hugs of welcome (we're so excited that you're here!).  After the service several people greeted us, chatted with us and generally made us feel very welcome.

Another Sunday at another church, we walked in the door and a couple of people said hello.  The Pastor was there and shook our hands.  The usher handed us bulletins, while talking with the people gathered around him but there was nothing else said.  During the service we were greeted, because we were instructed to greet people around us and after the service, well, my friend came up and said hello but really no one else.  It was easy to walk out the door feeling disconnected.

Right now, if I had to choose churches just based on how welcoming the people were (and I knew people, many people, at both churches) I would be going to the first church.  Which makes me wonder, how many people walked through the doors of my former church and never felt welcomed or encouraged to come back? How many people walk through the doors of churches every week and never feel like they connect because no one makes the effort to connect with them?  It's something that all churches need to think about.

My experiment will continue.  There are a few more churches that I'm going to visit.  I'll be interested to see what happens when I walk in the door.

Extreme Church Makeover

There are a ton of reality TV shows these days.  I've found myself, lately, with nothing better to watch than one that deals with Bars getting a makeover.  It's like Extreme Home Makeover...no wait it's like Tabitha's Salon Take Over only Bar edition.  Fascinating stuff, I tell you.

This mornings episode dealt with a bar owner and employee who really didn't want to change their ways.  They were afraid of making the changes that they needed to make in order for their business to succeed.  The bar makeover host dude came in and said "You're doing so many things wrong.  Your business will die in a matter of weeks.  Here are some changes that can be made that will put you back into business."  The bar owner was in denial, the employee tried to sabotage things at every stage and...it reminded me of the church.

We church folks are really good at doing things the way we've always done them.  We like routine, we like our language, we like the little bit of exclusivity we get from belonging to a certain place.  The thing that we don't like is change.  Big time don't like change, like will stonewall even the slightest bit of change (new soap dispensers in the restrooms!  What is wrong with the old ones??) and it eventually leads to a church that lives in fear.  Fear of change but really I think deep down it's fear of failure.  If we change something, it's like admitting failure, isn't it?

I've been a Church Chick for my whole life, basically.  I've been the one leading the charge for change and the one putting up resistance to change.  These days, I'm looking around the church at large and thinking, "It's time for an overhaul.  It's time to change the decor, redo the menu, put some of same items on there, just arrange them in a way that brings the bottom line to the surface."  Just in case you were wondering, the bottom line for me is Jesus.  How can we truly reflect the Jesus that we keep uncovering in the Bible.  Every time I read the Bible something new pops out and I see Jesus in a whole different light...which is one of the coolest things about this life of faith in my opinion.  Jesus NEVER gets boring or outdated or old.  Jesus is relevant and hip and cool.

It seems to me the church needs a makeover/takeover.  We need to get back to the bottom line, Jesus, and get update our image to attract the people of today.  I can see a TV reality show on its way...

Everyone has a key

I recently started working at a new church.  It's only a small job but I still get an office/catch-all room and a master key.  As the church administrative assistant handed me the key, her comment was "I'm pretty sure that is a master key, if not bring it back.  I'm not even sure why we have anything other than a master key, everyone at the church has a key anyway."  Which gets to the crux of the problem.  When everyone has a key then everyone can get into everywhere.

Now most of the time the problem is solely that so many people have keys and can come and go at anytime of the day that when doors get left unlocked it can be difficult to track down who left the doors unlocked.  One would think it would be a simple thing to just simply go to the last group that used the building and gently remind them to lock the doors, but when that group adamantly states their innocence, well, it can be a little embarrassing.  Especially when you find out that it was a church staff member who left the door unlocked after rushing in one night on an emergency (aka "the church bathroom is closer than home!").

At my previous church, I mainly used the entrance that was located on the lower level, behind the church.  I always kept that door locked.  The youth kids typically came and pounded on the door whenever they wanted in and I hadn't gotten to unlocking the door yet.  One night all of a sudden one of the youth kids was standing at my office door.  I knew the main door was unlocked so I asked how he got in.  Turns out that he tried the main door, didn't find it open, I didn't hear his knock so he tried multiple other doors and found the nursery door open!  I made sure to double check the nursery door all the time after that!

Current church has an issue with everyone having keys and feeling like they can just go into whatever office they want at any time.  Which is a little disconcerting but it's okay.  What people don't know about me, is that I have an eye for small details.  At my former church I always knew when someone else had been in my office, either one of the locks on the door would be unlocked or I saw papers out of place.  Which was quite a feat considering how extremely messy my desk always was.  I'm learning to keep a clean desk at new church and will still know if someone starts nosing around the desk.  That's really the problem with everyone having a key, sometimes there are things that inquiring minds just don't need to know.  While I occasionally had to enter the Pastors office at former church, I always felt really bad doing so, left the door wide open and made it a point to have other people know I was in there.  It felt like a violation of his space.  So what if the epicenter of the church wireless network was in his office and I was justified in needing to enter, I still always felt like an intruder and I legitimately had a right to a master key!

Now that I'm thinking about it maybe all church people should have a master key.  Maybe everyone should be issued a key the minute they join the church.  Churches are really good about wanting everyone to be a part of the ministry taking place at the church but not so good about equipping them.  Maybe this would be the first step.  Welcome to the church, you have a job, here's your key, get to work.  That may take away the mystique of the master key, take away the need to snoop, everyone can get in everywhere and so maybe we could just get to the business of sharing the love of Christ and stop the silliness of typical church life.  Then again, I could be dreaming...

Welcome to the blog!

I am a church girl at heart.  Really.  I dig church.  After working for a church for 11+ years, I've got lots to say about church life.  Some good, some, well, critical.  For the last few months I've thought about starting a blog where I just talk about church stuff, share my criticism's, the things I love, the things that mystify me and so on.  Really, the idea for this blog came out of a moment of feeling pretty cynical about church life but then I realized a better use of the blog would be to invite a friend or two and just talk church.  The things we love, the things we grimace over, the things the perplex us.

Feel free to comment...just remember that human beings are attached to the blog and feelings do exist...that's what we will remember as we write about church life as well.