Money, money, money

One of the hardest things about working in churches is the money issue.  Many churches have just started a new church budget for the year.  The months leading up to a new budget year can be harrowing.  Depending on how the church is doing financially up to that point the discussion goes one of three ways.  #1.  Everything stays the same.  #2.  Cut, cut, cut!  #3.  Let's give everyone a raise!

Honestly conversations #1 and #2 are the ones I'm most familiar with.  When I first started at Old Church we were in one of those rare #3 places.  The position I held had just been created, the youth budget was generous and awesome and life was good.  The next year our conversation looked more like #2. (That's another story.)  It was a roller coaster from there.  When I left the youth budget had been so reduced that it was literally a 10th of what it was when I started.  I got really tired of hearing myself say things like "we don't have the money for________."  (There is another story here as well but it would just be spewing bitterness, so I'm gonna let it go.)

There are some thoughts on how to create a church budget that I am familiar with.  One is the faith budget.  I.E. Don't go overboard but look closely at what you think you will need for the coming year, pray about it, budget it and pray hard that it comes in.  Another is the pledge budget.  Send out letters asking people to tell you what they might give over the next year and budget accordingly and pray hard that people actually live up to their pledges.  There are inherent flaws in both plans but the one biggest flaw is that in all of it, we are dealing with people and money.


There is power in money that just drives me crazy.  Months ago, I asked a group of young adults what they would do if they could do anything in the world.  I almost pulled my hair out, when all of them said something like "I would do this, but there isn't any money to be made there so I will never do that."  ARGH!  Money has too much of a foothold in our lives.  With that foothold also comes this little gem...the more money you have, the more powerful you feel, the more empowered you can be to lord that over people help other people.  The good old US of A is talking about just that these days.  It's a power struggle.

In church circles all of this means that the people who think they give the most money or who are perceived to give the most money to the church hold an awful lot of power.  I can't tell you the number of times I've heard this statement, "If __________ happens, then I am leaving the church" with the underlying theme being if they leave, their money leaves also.  There were many, many times that I wanted to stand in front of the congregation and say "If you don't like what is going on, stop being petty with your threats.  If you want to leave, leave!  If you want to be a part of helping the congregation to grow and change, then lets have a real conversation."  Many times these power brokers don't want to do anything but make threats but I wonder, if challenged would they step up to the plate?

It is also assumed, in many churches, that older people have more money and therefore are the ones who give the most.  This bugs me to no end.  A few weeks ago, I was at a memorial service at Old Church.  Someone who I haven't seen in ages came up and asked about what I was doing, etc. and then proceeded to ask how the churches finances were since we had "lost so many of the older people".  Um, what?!  I was really glad that I could honestly say "I don't know."  That perception, though, popped up many times at Old Church, especially when some of the older generation wanted something to happen.  Then we started hearing things like "well, we all know that the people in this service give more than the people in that service."  Sigh.  Again, money has the perception of power...even if the perception of who has the most money is wrong.

I would love to have answers to this money dilemma, but I don't.  What I do have are observations.

• The older generation doesn't necessarily have the most or give the most money...many are on a fixed income and can only give so much. 
• While we are on that subject, the reality is that we DON'T know what other people give and need to stop assuming.  And if you do know how much people are giving to the church it might be a good idea to KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!  
• While money does afford us a certain kind of lifestyle, it really doesn't bring either power or happiness.  If you want to be "powerful" in a church, how about you start getting involved first with God and then with the church.  I respect people who actually give of their time to the church instead of throwing around money and expecting respect.
• Matthew 6:24  “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money."  It seems that many times, in the church, we do just that, serve God and money.  *I will freely admit I haven't done a through exegesis this verse so I may have taken it out of context.*

  Whew.  Think I ranted myself into the ground.  Now, off to look for a new job...I need more money.   : >

What's the point of a memorial service?

I've been to plenty of memorial services in my life...plenty over the 12 months alone.  When I was younger, I was under the impression that memorial services were times where we came together to remember the person who had died and grieve.  As I've grown older, I've come to view memorial services as a time where people gather together to remember the person who has died and grieve.  What?  You don't see the difference in those statements?  Okay, I'll explain.

When I was younger, memorial services were always sad.  It was just sad.  People cried, they were somber, we dressed in dark colors, we talked about how great the person was and we were sad together.  Memorial services today are much the same (well, I don't always dress in dark colors) but for me there is a marked difference.  While we may be talking about and grieving some who has died, I've come to see memorial services not so much about the person who has died but the people who are left behind.

My Mom has clearly stated that at her memorial service there is not to be an open microphone.  No "come up and share your fondest memory with everyone" awkward moments.  Which is fine.  I'll just make sure there are people assigned to that, if I'm in charge.  I believe there needs to be time for people to celebrate and remember the person corporately.  We need a space in life to grieve together whether in tears or laughter through the tears.  We need a time to remember the one we have loved together.  We need a memorial service, not so much for the person who has died but for those of us who are left behind. 

Now, I've been to a lot of memorial services, mostly in a church building and I've got to say something else.  I believe in Jesus with my whole heart and I'm perfectly comfortable with people talking about a person's faith in Jesus, how their faith impacted their life.  Especially when it's genuine.  Stand up, talk about the person's faith in God and how faith was lived out.  Let their life be an example of faith, beyond awesome.  I am not comfortable with having a "come to Jesus" moment in the memorial service.  It bugs me.  Maybe I'm not that great of a Christ Follower.  I get really tired of going to memorial services and hearing about how I need to "come to Jesus" because the person that had died had such a great faith in God.  I feel like it's just another example of a preacher trying to "save" people who might not normally get into a church building and it wears me out.  Really wears me out.  I always feel like the preacher has looked around the room and decided everyone is on the verge of going to hell and so they must get this one.last.word.in. before we all plunge into the depths of despair.  It feels forced, a little desperate and always makes me sigh...sometimes out loud.

My Dad went to a memorial service recently where that exact thing happened.  Much of the service was spent having a "come to Jesus" moment.  He said while there were some things said about the person who had died, it just seemed like the preacher and another speaker looked around, saw an audience they wouldn't normally see and decided to try to convert souls. His comment..."I wish more was said about the life of the person.  I'm not even sure the pastor knew him very well."  Sigh. 

Here's the thing for me.  I believe in Jesus.  I serve God wherever God calls me to serve.  I want my life to speak about my faith and trust in Jesus and God.  I would love for people to stand up at a memorial service for me (years and years and years down the road) and share about my faith in God and Jesus.  I'm okay with an open mic.  I'm not okay with a "come to Jesus" moment and if that means that the service can't be held in the church, fine by me.  I'm also okay with people crying because IT'S NATURAL TO GRIEVE THROUGH CRYING!!!  Sorry, got a little heated there.

I'm sure there are plenty of people to disagree with me.  It's okay if we disagree...but please don't question my faith because I disagree with you...oh wait, that's another blog post.